Friday, June 10, 2005

Cal Thomas, Shut The Fuck Up And Go Live With The Amish

Pompous gasbag Cal Thomas has a new piece at where he suggests that schools need to go back to the 18th century style of teaching. That style was Latin, Greek, and Math. That's it, that's the list. Oh, and if you missed church three times during a semester, you were expelled. Yeah, that would be great. In an ever flattening world (I had to put in the Thomas Friedman plug because he had one column two months ago where he didn't plug his fucking book) where up and coming countries educational systems are surpassing ours by doing the opposite, he wants us to destroy ours.

He also says that phonics were abandoned in the US in the 60's. Fuck, I must be twenty years older than I thought because we studied phonics at my school in the late seventies. I don't know if they still teach it and to be honest I hope I never find out.

Thomas also mentions one non academic study they learned. From

One nonacademic subject they also studied was a little booklet called "The Rules of Civility; or The Maxims of Genteel Behavior." While many of the rules can be discarded today (such as the proper placement of one's sword at meals), others recall a lost tradition in human relationships designed to protect and honor half of the human race and to civilize the other half.

There are instructions on how to respect and treat women, often referred to as "ladies." My personal favorite teaches the "proper" way to greet ladies: "It is not becoming a Person of quality, when in the Company of Ladies, to handle them roughly; to put his hand in their necks, or bosoms; to kiss them by surprise; to tear their fans; to snatch away their Handkerchiefs."

Well, Cal, I'll update that booklet for the twenty-first century. From the Onion article "A Gentleman Never Discloses Who Sucked Him Off"

I must say, the quality of discourse in this country has taken a sharp plunge of late, not only among the ruffians and ne'er-do-wells from whom one expects coarse speech, but among gentlemen of letters and esteem. I have, with my own ears, several times in the past week, heard the elder sons of prominent families introduce into mixed company subjects formerly reserved for private discussion among gentlemen. It pains me even to raise this point, but following a string of recent events, there is no question that the adage bears repeating: A gentleman ought never to disclose who sucked him off.

This needn't mean a gentleman must limit the discussion of his exploits to his journal. If a gentleman has met a young lady and taken her to his digs, it is his right and privilege to tell his friends and coworkers about the encounter. However, it is the mark of a true gentleman to omit
his lady friend's name from the discussion of her pussy's tightness.

Nough said. BTW you gotta go to the townhall link above if for nothing else to see his picture.

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