Friday, December 30, 2005

Memo

For anyone who didn't hear, MK is having a New Year's eve party. Starts around six. See ya there.

Broke

Buried in today's Washington Post is an article about our government's spending. You see, we've maxed out our credit card again. From WAPO:

Treasury Secretary John W. Snow said yesterday that the United States could be unable to pay its bills in early 2006 unless Congress raises the government's borrowing authority, which is now capped at $8.18 trillion.

Snow, in a letter to lawmakers, estimated that the government is expected to bump into the statutory debt limit around the middle of February.

"At that time, unless the debt limit is raised or the Treasury Department takes authorized extraordinary actions, we will be unable to continue to finance government operations," Snow wrote.

If the department were to carry out various accounting maneuvers -- as it has done in the past to avoid breaching the limit -- that would free up finances and allow the government to keep paying its bills "no longer than mid-March," Snow wrote.

Don't worry China, we're totally good for the money. Buy some more bonds, we'll fuck over some old people or children or both for it.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Standing Up

Well, it looks like the Iraqi army is ready to do some of that standing up we've been hearing about from the Bush administration, standing up to fight each other. From Knight-Ridder:

Five days of interviews with Kurdish leaders and troops in the region suggest that U.S. plans to bring unity to Iraq before withdrawing American troops by training and equipping a national army aren't gaining traction. Instead, some troops that are formally under U.S. and Iraqi national command are preparing to protect territory and ethnic and religious interests in the event of Iraq's fragmentation, which many of them think is inevitable.

The soldiers said that while they wore Iraqi army uniforms they still considered themselves members of the Peshmerga - the Kurdish militia - and were awaiting orders from Kurdish leaders to break ranks. Many said they wouldn't hesitate to kill their Iraqi army comrades, especially Arabs, if a fight for an independent Kurdistan erupted.

"It doesn't matter if we have to fight the Arabs in our own battalion," said Gabriel Mohammed, a Kurdish soldier in the Iraqi army who was escorting a Knight Ridder reporter through Kirkuk. "Kirkuk will be ours."

We're though the looking glass, Alice. Really, we have been for almost two years when Rumsfeld fucked up the initial occupation. But now it should be clear to everyone, Iraq is now a money pit, money pit, money pit.

The Onion

If you're not a regular reader of The Onion, this week's issue is a good place to start.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

As If They Didn't Have It Bad Enough

US troops in Iraq and Afghanistan are about to get a late Christmas present. Probably not one they want, but they are getting it anyway. The Second Amendments are preparing to go play six oldies laden shows for them. The Second Amendments are comprised of five members of the US House.

They talked to the USO about performing, but were told there were "logistical snags." I think that is the polite way of saying, "You guys stink." So instead, they will go play as part of their own official congressional trip.

I can't really believe a bunch of kids really wants to hear these guys play oldies, and that's one of the bad things about being in the military. I sure for some service members, attendance will be mandatory. Hmm, getting shot at or listening to the Second Amendments play. Tough call.

I can see it now. The lights go low....Collin Peterson's gravelly voice cracks the din of murmurs...We are The Second Amendments...and we're hear to protect your right...your right to bear...GUITAR! Or something else as equally cheesy.

Change

If you see some strange characters show up here it's because I'm using a new keyboard and the Alt, Ctrl, Del keys are all in new places and I am still getting used to it.

Chemical Plant Security

The Editorial Board of The New York Times writes an op-ed today endorsing a bill put forth by Susan Collin and Joe Lieberman concerning chemical plant safety. I agree with the Times that the bill is good first step, but I also don't believe it goes far enough. In reading the article though I got the impression that the editors really don't have much of an idea about industry. From the Times:

If terrorists attacked a chemical plant, the death toll could be enormous. A single breached chlorine tank could, according to the Department of Homeland Security, lead to 17,500 deaths, 10,000 severe injuries and 100,000 hospitalizations. Many chemical plants have shockingly little security to defend against such attacks.

OK, without looking at the EPA's RMP list, which would be the facilities covered by this act and numbers about 15,000, I don't know what is covered. I have to believe that there are at least three times that many facilities in the US where the above mentioned chlorine tank breach could happen. The Times might consider where they buy the paper on which they print the "paper of record. There are also lots of other facilities that I wouldn't exactly consider chemical plants that this kind of disaster could strike, many with virtually no security.

I'll have to look into this a little further and get back to you.

Posting

Posting should return to near normal levels today.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Happy Sol Invictus

You know, the Pagan holiday that the Christians co-opted to create Christmas. Posting has been light, but you really should have better thing to do anyway.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

The Dirty Dozen

Jack Abramoff has nearly completed one of his plea deals, the Miami one, and probably serve five to seven years in prison. The New York Times tells us what prosceutor's are going to get as the two cases converge:

At the same time, prosecutors in Washington have been sifting through evidence of what they believe is a corruption scheme involving at least a dozen lawmakers and their former staff members, many of whom worked closely on legislation with Mr. Abramoff and accepted gifts and favors from him. Although Mr. Abramoff is also in negotiations in that case, it is unclear whether a settlement can be reached in time for both agreements to be announced at once.

A dozen dirty congressmen. If you throw in Duke Cunningham, that's a baker's dozen of members who will at least be indicted from the 109th Congress.

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Holy Fucking Fitzmas!

Raw Story is reporting that Patrick Fitzgerald's investigation into the Valerie Plame affair will not end with Karl Rove and may go to that magical place we all hoped it would. From Raw Story:

The investigation is expected to shift back to top officials in the Office of the Vice President, the State Department and the National Security Council, and may even shed some light on the genesis of the Niger forgeries, lawyers close to the case say. The forged documents, cited in President Bush's 2003 State of the Union address, claimed Iraq sought yellowcake uranium from the African country. It may also reveal how key players in the White House decided to expose Plame's undercover status and top secret front company, Brewster Jennings.

Separately, these people said, the FBI's renewed interest in probing the Niger forgeries grew out of Fitzgerald's probe. [emphasis mine]

We're going way past outing a CIA agent if Fitzgerald goes this route.

Unemployed?

I have a feeling that the NCAA official who ruled USC quarterback Matt Leinart ineligible for the Rose Bowl last week in now looking for a job. The ruling was very quietly appealed and subsequently overturned. The suspension had something to do with Leinart appearing in an ESPN promo.

Who knows how much ad revenue ABC would have lost if the suspension would have been upheld.

Time To Compare Notes?

There is an interesting tid bit in today's New York Times article about Jack Abramoff looking to cop a plea. From the Times:

Florida prosecutors are also investigating corruption in that case, focusing on Mr. Ney and his chief of staff at the time, Neil Volz, according to people involved in the case. Mr. Volz reportedly agreed to put negative remarks about Mr. Boulis in The Congressional Record, even though Mr. Ney had no obvious reason to comment on Mr. Boulis.

Now, this is the other Abramoff investigation, not the one where Michael Scanlon has already plead guilty to bribing Ney. So, now there two separate investigations pursuing corruption charges against Ney. Ney is as they say, toast.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Score One For Sanity

A federal judge has ruled against the Dover school board in an intelligent design case. The case was somewhat moot because all eight of the idiots on the school board that were pushing intelligent design were round stomped in November's election. However, this ruling is still a complete victory for science as it sets a good precedent. From The Washington Post:

In his ruling today, Jones said several members of the Dover Area School Board repeatedly lied during the trial to cover their motives for promoting intelligent design even as they professed religious beliefs, the Associated Press reported.

"The citizens of the Dover area were poorly served by the members of the Board who voted for the ID [Intelligent Design] Policy," Jones wrote.

Jones said advocates of intelligent design "have bona fide and deeply held beliefs which drive their scholarly endeavors," adding that he did not believe the concept should not be studied and discussed, AP reported. But he concluded that "it is unconstitutional to teach ID as an alternative to evolution in a public school science classroom."

Specifically, Jones said the school board's policy on intelligent design violated the establishment clause of the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

[snip]

But Jones wrote in his 139-page opinion that "the secular purposes claimed by the Board amount to a pretext for the Board's real purpose, which was to promote religion in the public school classroom."

Jones sharply criticized some of the school board members, writing, "It is ironic that several of these individuals, who so staunchly and proudly touted their religious convictions in public, would time and again lie to cover their tracks and disguise the real purpose behind the ID Policy."

That's a spanking folks, Judge Jones actually went as far as to call the promoters of ID liars. With the turnover on the school board this case is dead, but it will come up again somewhere else and another school system will be forced to use valuable resources to defend itself.

Gestapo Like

The following exchange took place on CNN's American Morning this morning in a discussion about the Ohio Patriot Act:

COSTELLO: I do. Let's talk about what's happening in Ohio, because that state may be on the verge of getting the toughest terrorism law in the entire country. That's because Ohio has its own Patriot Act. It calls for people to show their I.D.'s before entering any train station or bus depot. I think most Americans would say, "Well, that's fine."But here is the provision that could cause the most controversy. Police would be allowed to arrest anyone in public who refuses to give their name, address, or birth date. And that's even if you're just standing around and doing nothing. Local news reports say Ohio Governor Bob Taft is expected to sign the bill. But of course, it could be held up by legal challenges.

SANCHEZ: That sounds Gestapo like.

COSTELLO: Doesn't it?

SANCHEZ: Yes.

COSTELLO: Yes. I mean, you can just be standing anywhere, and some police agent could walk up and say, "Rick, when were you born?"

SANCHEZ: Name, rank and serial number.

COSTELLO: They wouldn't say, "Rick." They wouldn't know you. If he'd say, "Rick," you'd be done.

O'BRIEN: That makes no sense.

SANCHEZ: I'd say, "Wait. You know!"

COSTELLO: That's pretty scary, isn't it? We'll see what happens in Ohio.


Make no mistake, this piece of legislation will be used to disenfranchise voters in the future if it is not reversed. Bob Taft is poised to sign it today.

Iraqi Elections

Preliminary results from the recent Iraqi elections seem to show the worst case scenario. The secular parties got crushed and it appears that the fundamentalist Shia party The United Iraqi Alliance will come very close to gaining a simple majority in Parliament. The Sunni's are already claiming election fraud. One good thing happened, it doesn't appear at this point that Ahmed Chalabi garnered enough votes to win a seat in Parliament.

Looks like we're a little closer to civil war.

Great

Somebody just walked away from a bunker near Albuquerque with 400 pounds of high explosive and 2500 detonators. Scary shit.

Lean On Me

N ew York Times editor Bill Keller and publisher Arthur Sulzberger got summoned tot he White House on December 6th so Bush could lean on them to spike the illegal spying story according to Eric Alterman in Newsweek.

Now, these two had been spiking the story for what they call a year or so. I'm not sure if that means twelve months or fourteen months, which would put it before the election. I certainly suspicious it is the latter. The Times needs to come clean about why they held the story and provide background for the Bush meeting.

As for Bush, yesterday's explanation of the illegal wire taps doesn't hold water. The FISA court has only rejected four wire tap requests in the last twenty two years and you can make the request retroactively so they're is no need to avoid getting the warrant. These acts are the illegal excesses of a dictator. Hey, if it goosesteps like a duck.

Update: The LA Times has now confirmed my suspicion that the New York Times had this story prior to last year's presidential election. Time for Keller to go.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Clap Harder

MSNBC has a story up which is titled Holiday Sales Are Solid. This morning the same story was titled Holiday Sales Disapointing. Must of been a hell of a sales day.

Also the story contains this paragraph:

Again, merchants are relying on procrastinators during the final days before Christmas and post-holiday sales _ expected to be boosted by the redemption of gift cards.

This money is already in the door.

New York Times

It's not a story that we had secret prisons around the world. Of course we did. It's not a story that we were spying on American citizens. Of course we were. The Bush administration and the rule of law don't exactly skip down the road hand in hand. I doubt they have ever met. But, for The New York Times to sit on the spying story for a year, that's ridiculous.

Anyway, I have some advise for Time's editor Bill Keller. Go glossy, because now you have revealed yourselves to be nothing more than a tabloid rag and when I read about who Angelina Jolie was fucking a year and a half ago, I like the pictures to be shiny.

Also, some advise for Time's stable of columnists. Money may talk, but credibility certainly takes a walk.

WTF

Did any of you see the president's presser today. I didn't, but from the press coverage I've read I can only say, "what the fuck?" He apparently called the leaking of his illegal activities a "shameful act."

Also, there is some guy out there named Saddam Osama who sounds like a pretty bad dude. We better get that fucker quick.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Know Your Hacks

I'm sure you've been sitting around wondering who is our Chairman of The Congressional Advisory Board on Missile Defense. His name is Jeff "Skunk" Baxter. If you're an older reader you might be thinking, "Back in the seventies, I used to get high with a guy named Jeff Baxter. I think he played in a band, what were they called? Oh yea, the Doobie Brothers."

Yep, same guy.

State Party Chair

On Monday we are going to elect a new state party chairman. Chris Redfern seems to have the necessary votes to win, although a last minute coalition is attempting to beat him. What's bad about this is that Redfern isn't planning on giving up his day job.

Look, we need a full time state party chair. Hell, we probably need two or three the way this operation has been run into the ground. We don't need a guy who is going to do a half assed job half the time. Next year's elections are too crucial for that. Whoever wins next year gets to run as an incumbent in 2010, and whoever wins then gets to redraw the lines.

Redfern isn't even that good of a minority leader. I guess the bottom line is that frankly put, Chris Refern as state party chair is failure's savior.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

NingĂșn BĂ©isbol Para Cuba

The Bush administration has bowed to pressure from Florida's Cuban population and blocked Cuba from participating in The World Baseball Classic. Cuba needed a licence from the Treasury Department to play in the Classic, but Rep. Lincoln Diaz-Balart, R-Fla asked the Bushies to block it.

This is ridiculous, without Cuba this becomes the World Baseball Crappic. Can't you just smell the fifty years of failed policy on Cuba. Doesn't give you much hope on Iraq, does it.

Gray Power

An article in today's Wall Street Journal has got to be giving republicans in Congress chills. The old folks are pissed, and we all know they vote. From WSJ:

The results can be seen in Americans' attitudes toward Congress 11 months before Election Day 2006. By a 65%-19% margin, Americans age 65 and above disapprove of the performance of Congress; those under 65 are also negative but less lopsidedly, 58%-27%. Moreover, senior citizens say by 47%-37% that they want Democrats rather than Republicans to win control of Capitol Hill. Those under 65 prefer a Democratic victory by a narrower 45%-39% margin.

That disparity, like some other political differences between older and younger Americans, is relatively slight. But it has big implications for the 2006 campaign for two reasons.

One is that older voters, having given Mr. Bush slightly greater support than younger voters in his narrow 2004 re-election victory, have now become the most critical of his job performance. In the Journal/NBC poll, for instance, Americans under 65 disapprove of Mr. Bush's job performance by a margin of 16 percentage points, while those 65 and above disapprove by a margin of 20 percentage points.

The second is that older voters play an outsize role in midterm contests, because they traditionally turn out at higher rates while many young voters tune out campaigns not featuring a presidential contest. Voters older than 60 made up 24% of those voting in 2004, but a larger 28% in the 1998 midterm contest, the last such campaign for which exit-poll data are available.

The GOP had better get to work on that nursing home voter disenfranchisement.

Contest

I'm working on a contest where readers have to find me in a bar and hit me with a plain corn tortilla thrown frisbee style. Something between Where In The World Is Carmen San Diego? and Hide And Seek. I'm still working on the prize package which will mainly consist of holiday stuff I get from suppliers plus a free shot of your choice.

Marcy Kaptur

Back on October 10th, I hinted that, at that time, a fourth gubernatorial candidate may enter the race in Ohio. I had heard rumors, but they died down so I figured she had ruled it out. Today, the rumor spilled over into the mainstream press. From the ever so great Toledo Blade:

One of Ohio's most powerful labor leaders is pushing U.S. Rep. Marcy Kaptur to run for governor next year, and the Toledo Democrat is considering it.

Lloyd Mahaffey, the director of the United Auto Workers in Ohio, said yesterday that he and other UAW officials have told Miss Kaptur for months she'd make "a great governor."

"I've been trying to urge her to run," Mr. Mahaffey said, "and I know other people have, too."

I think Kaptur would make a good governor, but that's an awfully powerful position to give up for a race that's not necessarily a slam dunk. Tough call.

Hat tip to commenter MB for pointing this article out to me.

The Check Is In The Mail, But To Whom

One of Jack Abramoff's "charities" claimed it gave over $300,000 in grants in 2002. From The American-Statesman:

Capital Athletic Foundation, a charity run by disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff now at the center of an influence-peddling investigation on Capitol Hill, told the IRS it gave away more than $330,000 in grants in 2002 to four other charities that say they never received the money.

The largest grant the foundation listed in its 2002 tax filing was for $300,000 to P'TACH of New York, a nonprofit that helps Jewish children with learning disabilities.

"We've never received a $300,000 gift, not in our 28 years," a surprised Rabbi Burton Jaffa, P'TACH's national director, told the Austin American-Statesman. "It would have been gone by now. I guess I would have been able to pay some teachers on time."

Abramoff may be the most corrupt guy in the history of corruption. There has been a lot of speculation that he may cut a deal soon in exchange for implicating others, but what kind of deal could he get. I mean, this guy has broken so many laws that I don't know what kind of deal prosecutors are going to offer. Hey Jack, rat these guys out and we'll only give you fifty.

I'd say barring an out the door pardon from Bush, Abramoff is going to be cooling his heels for a long, long time.

The Terminator

Arnold Schwarzenegger has got to be saying, "Are you fucking kidding me?" The next guy scheduled to get the needle is seventy-six years old, blind from diabetes, and in a wheelchair.

This is where the anti-death penalty crowd should take a cue from the right. How? Form a made up pro-death penalty group and go around crowing that justice must be served. By the way, shaves and haircuts are required.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Oh No, They Are Losing

It appears we have a winner in the War On Christmas, although it remains unclear who lost. Jerry Falwell had this to say to MSNBC:

"We are, for the first time, on offense,” says Christian televangelist Jerry Falwell, “and we're kicking their butt out of the arena."

Who are they? Who is this straw man who Falwell is giving a Christianly butt kicking? There are two sides to this war. On one hand, you have the Christian right whose collective vagina bruises easier than a week old peach. On the other hand, you people who just don't care. There isn't anyone actually out there attacking Christmas.

So, what's the reason for this "war"? It's money. You see, Falwell has to show his flock his bruised vagina to pry a little extra coin out of little old ladies who watch his network. Christmas is his competition, and he's got to keep up that opulent lifestyle.

Babysitting

Dan Froomkin's White House Briefing has come under fire recently by other Washington Post reporters for its content and title. Their contention is that the title leads readers to believe they are reading a White House beat reporter's column when it is clearly opinion, but the truth is that they are apparently upset that Froomkin sometimes says snide things about the administration and the way they treat the press. I don't know if this is some sort of right wing push back or if the other reporters are pissed off by the fact that he is pointing out that they are not doing their jobs.

Post Editor Len Downie chimed in in the Editor & Publisher:

"We want to make sure people in the [Bush] administration know that our news coverage by White House reporters is separate from what appears in Froomkin's column because it contains opinion," Downie told E&P. "And that readers of the Web site understand that, too."

Okay, so the Post is worried about whether or not the Bush administration understands the column is opinion because Downie concedes that the readership at large understands that it is opinion. By the way, I read it all the time and it clearly is opinion.

Solution: The Bush administration is a fairly small group of people, perhaps the Post could hire a babysitter to walk them through the daily column. I'm thinking maybe a first grade English teacher.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Tookie's Dead

This morning, Tookie Williams became the twelfth person executed in California since the death penalty was reinstated in 1976. The amazing thing is that the case got this far. There are currently 647 people on death row in California, the vast majority of which will die in prison before they are executed.

Why do we bother with this ridiculously expensive ritual when most of the people sentenced to it end up serving life without parole?

Monday, December 12, 2005

Homecoming

I got up at an ungodly hour this morning to catch a replay of the Masters Of Horror episode on Showtime. It originally aired on a Friday night and I have better things to do on Friday nights than to stay at home and watch TV. If you're unfamiliar with this episode, it's the one where soldiers killed in the Iraq War (Not mentioned by name) become zombies to try to influence the presidential election.

I'd have to say it wasn't worth getting up early to see, it's not that good.

Friday, December 09, 2005

The War On Christmas

I have to admit, the War On Christmas is quickly becoming my favorite holiday tradition. Anything that makes the radical right so frothy, makes me feel good. Plus, the WOC which is fully a figment of the right's imagination is being prosecuted by morons. Here's the latest from ABCNews.com:

The latest salvo in the "war on Christmas" has been fired — this time over the lyrics to the venerable Christmas carol "Silent Night."

Many who believe Christmas has been overly secularized are pouncing on a Wisconsin school that will present the tune with different words, under the title "Cold in the Night."

The controversy began when the father of a student at Ridgeway Elementary School in Dodgeville, Wis., was upset with the lyrics his child brought home to learn. He told the non-profit group Liberty Counsel they are: "Cold in the night, no one in sight, winter winds whirl and bite, how I wish I were happy and warm, safe with my family out of the storm."

Offended by the new words, he was unable to convince the school not to perform the song and contacted Liberty Counsel, which provides free legal assistance in religious freedom cases.

"We first try to educate a lot of people who are confused over the law," said Mathew Staver, president and general counsel of Liberty Counsel. "This kind of a situation is not so much confusion as it is an insensitivity and an attempt to secularize Christmas, because here they're actually taking a song and mocking it, in my opinion."

It makes you wonder what other anti-Christmas God hating organizations would attempt put on such an insidious play. I'll bet it's those sons a bitching heathens over at the Aldersgate United Methodist Church in Midland, MI. From their newsletter:

Thanks to all who helped with The Advent Celebration on December 2. We had craft activities, Bible study, lunch, carol sing, Rainbow Bells performance, a Teen Choir performance, and an advent play. The play The Little Tree's Christmas Gift was very meaningful. Thanks to all who helped decorate the church for Advent.

And you know who else. Yep, those hell bound Satanists over at the Bethel Temple Christian Center in Abilene TX. From the Abilene Reporter-News:

SPECIAL CHRISTMAS PRODUCTION

A Christmas musical/drama, "The Little Tree's Christmas Gift," will be presented by the Children's Church at 10:35 a.m. Sunday at Bethel Temple Christian Center, 3101 N. 12th.

The musical, written by Ann Lambert and Dwight Elrich, stresses that everyone has something special to offer.

This all begs the question, Why does Jesus hate Christmas? The answer is actually pretty simple. I mean come on, do you really like your birthday? Nobody likes to be another year older, even if you're dead.

And remember to have a better than average end of the year annual events time period.

NeyDay, NeyDay, I'm Going Down

It looks like the Nigel Winfield story is starting to bubble to the surface. Winfield is the three time convicted felon Bob Ney met with at a private casino in London. The Dispatch has the story today:


Ney had dinner during the trip at a posh London casino with FN Aviation Director Nigel Winfield, a convicted felon whose offenses have included tax evasion, and Fouad al-Zayat, a Syrian-born businessman known as a high-stakes casino gambler. Walsh has said Ney did not know about Winfield’s background.

Ney returned to the same casino on a personal trip later in 2003 and reported on his financial disclosure form that he won $34,000. Walsh has said Ney parlayed a $100 bet into the large winning on two hands of a three-card game of chance. Questions arose over the FN Aviation trip when NBC News in May reported Winfield’s background and disclosed Zayat’s involvement with the company.

The posh casino in question is Les Ambassadeurs, and don't think Las Vegas posh, this joint costs £1,000 ($1,754.27) just to get in the door. It's a ultra high end casino where hundred of thousand of dollars loosely change hands. Ney's "$100 bet" would be like ordering a hot dog at a steak house. In fact, I doubt they even have table limits that low.

When Ney "won" the $34,000, he got in as a member's guest and although Ney's lawyer claim he doesn't know who the member was, my money is on Winfield or Zayat. Both are members.

Snow Teams Back peddle

Well, that major snowstorm we've been hearing about all week never materialized here in Columbus, OH. Last night, around 9:00 I looked out of the window at the bar where I was meeting with friends and thought, that's it?

This morning the local snow coverage looked rather silly as they were driving around central Ohio looking for someplace that actually got a lot of snow. The money quote of the morning goes to WBNS' Chuck Gurney who actually said, "It's not the size of the snow storm you get, it's how fast you get it."

Nice over dramatization Chuck, but actually the converse is true. It's much better to get six inches of snow in one hour than six inches of snow over twelve hours. The former meaning you only have to plow the roads once versus the repeat plowing necessary for the latter.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Run For Your Lives

Alert, Alert. Run for your lives. It's going to snow here in Columbus. Let me explain the three levels of snow emergency. First of all.....Your not still reading this are you? Didn't you hear what I said? Shitloads of snow are coming!!! Snow! Bitches! Snow! It's your life, I warned you.

Level 1: All travel is restricted to driving about five miles per hour. In fact, don't drive. Hell, don't even look out your window. There's white shit out there.

Level 2: No travel, no leaving the house. All meals must be eaten cold out of a can. Watching 24hr Snow Team coverage is mandatory. Use the amphetamines in your snow kit to stay awake. Martial law is declared, habeas corpus suspended.

Are you still fucking reading this? Are you insane? Run!!!! Run away now!!!!

Level 3: All human life ceases to exist. That is all.

Burt Prelutsky

Some people just don't get it. On Townhall.com Burt Prelutsky writes:

But the dirty little secret in America is that anti-Semitism is no longer a problem in society; it’s been replaced by a rampant anti-Christianity. For example, the hatred spewed towards George W. Bush has far less to do with his policies than it does with his religion. The Jews voice no concern when a Bill Clinton or a John Kerry makes a big production out of showing up at black Baptist churches or posing with Rev. Jesse Jackson because they understand that’s just politics. They only object to politicians attending church for religious reasons.

This is the same kind of stupid thing dumb people say about the terrorists. You know, they hate us for our freedoms. It's always about policy. Just because reality shows dominate television doesn't mean we are all children. I don't hate Bush because he is Christian, or because he stole the 2000 election, or even for the fact that he is an idiot. I hate him for his disastrous policies that are destroying the country.

Now, I do accept the fact that anti-Christianity is running high right now, but that is mainly due to the radical Christian right shoving a toxic form of the religion down every ones throat. It's reactionary, its blow back, plain and simple.

Prelutsky, who is Jewish, goes on to blame the Jews for the War On Christmas:

It is the ACLU, which is overwhelmingly Jewish in terms of membership and funding, that is leading the attack against Christianity in America. It is they who have conned far too many people into believing that the phrase “separation of church and state” actually exists somewhere in the Constitution.

You may have noticed, though, that the ACLU is highly selective when it comes to religious intolerance. The same group of self-righteous shysters who, at the drop of a “Merry Christmas” will slap you with an injunction, will fight for the right of an American Indian to ingest peyote and a devout Islamic woman to be veiled on her driver’s license.

I'd have to say that's a little overly dramatic. In the last paragraph Pelutsky salutes his Christian overloads:

This is a Christian nation, my friends. And all of us are fortunate it is one, and that so many Americans have seen fit to live up to the highest precepts of their religion. Speaking as a member of a minority group – and one of the smaller ones at that – I say it behooves those of us who don’t accept Jesus Christ as our savior to show some gratitude to those who do, and to start respecting the values and traditions of the overwhelming majority of our fellow citizens, just as we keep insisting that they respect ours.
Merry Christmas.

Are we going to have to endure this imaginary war every year? Oh well, have a better than average end of year annual events time period.

Engaged?

Barbara Bush's six month foreign good will tour to avoid jury duty has run into the Page Six crowd. Babs was wearing a ring on that finger that generally indicates a wedding is in the future during a visit to the National Children's Hospital in some strange far away place known as DC.

The White House has denied that she is engaged, and her future husband was too busy cooking up a new batch of trailer park meth to comment.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Airline Shooting

Federal Air Marshals just capped a guy claiming to have a bomb aboard a American Airlines flight at the Miami airport.

Those Crazy Aspens

Remember the cryptic letter Scooter Libby sent Judith Miller? The one that ended with this message:

"You went into jail in the summer. It is fall now. You will have stories to cover -- Iraqi elections and suicide bombers, biological threats and the Iranian nuclear program. Out West, where you vacation, the aspens will already be turning. They turn in clusters, because their roots connect them. Come back to work -- and life. Until then, you will remain in my thoughts and prayers. With admiration, Scooter Libby."

The next issue of Vanity Fair will reveal that Judy used to sleep with US Congressman Les Aspin. Aspen, Aspin. Pretty similar, huh. Judy has long had a reputation for sleeping with her sources, so was this quote a reference to her sleeping with Les Aspin and then quoting him as a source? Further more, does the turn in clusters phase constitute a threat to reveal other sources Judy tapped for her stories?

I don't know, but it is certainly interesting.

Fitzy

Old Saint Fitz is in court today with the elves and lots of bags of goodies. No idea who the Silent Knight is looking at today, but hopefully Rove has run out of last minute mystery witnesses to run at Fitzgerald to stave off his indictment.

Idiots And, Well, Idiots

Howard Dean was an idiot for what he said that the idea we could win the Iraq War is "just plain wrong." I agree with him at this point due to the leadership running this country, but as head of the DNC, you just can't make statements like this or even if it was taken out of context, statements close to this. It doesn't play well politically. You've got the base Howard, go get the middle.

That being said, President Bush's statement yesterday is equally idiotic, and somewhat quixotic. Bush said, "I know we're going to win," and "Our troops need to hear not only are they supported, but that we have got a strategy that will win."

What strategy is Bush talking about? I certainly hope he's not talking about that buzz word filled glossy piece of crap from last week that was written in no small part by a White House pollster. Then again, it was shiny so Bush might believe it. I guess we'll just keep on skipping down the IED laden road to stay the courseville.

The strange part is "I know we're going to win." Is Bush harking back to his cheerleader days in college? Exactly what part of this fiasco has led Bush to this conclusion? I don't get it. All I see are continuing American casualties, increasing Iraqi military and police fatalities, and strengthening private militias. None of those things add up to a win.

Today is the anniversary of Japan's sneak attack on Pearl Harbor. Sounds like the perfect time for somebody in the White House to sit Bush down for a sneak attack of reality.

No Jury Duty For Barbara

Nice catch by patprouseyo over at kos. Barbara Bush the younger had the White House lie to get her out of jury duty. From Foxnews.com:

Strother said one of Bush's twin daughters, Barbara, received a jury summons for his court a month ago. Someone called to reschedule her jury service, saying she would be out of the country for the next six months, the judge said.

This simply isn't true, but why bother to lie? Just call it a security threat and move on. No judge would enforce the summons. I've never seen a group of people so challenged by the truth.

Big Box Jesus Leading The War Against Christmas?

This has got to make Bill O'Reilly stew. Several megachurches are canceling their Sunday services in a couple of weeks because Christmas falls on that day. From CNN.com:

This Christmas, no prayers will be said in several megachurches around the country.
Even though the holiday falls this year on a Sunday, when churches normally host thousands for worship, pastors are canceling services, anticipating low attendance on what they call a family day.

[snip]

Cally Parkinson, a spokeswoman for Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois, said church leaders decided that organizing services on a Christmas Sunday would not be the most effective use of staff and volunteer resources.

The last time Christmas fell on a Sunday was 1994, and only a small number of people showed up to pray, she said.

Et tu, BBJ? Ha Ha

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Diebold

Rawstory is apparently currently working on an interview with a Diebold insider for all of you conspiracy types out there. The story isn't up yet but some quotes are up. Including that the insider alleges "company plagued by technical woes," and "Raises questions about Georgia gubernatorial election and Ohio November results."

For the record, I don't believe that Diebold flipped the election in Ohio last year.

UPDATE: The story is now up here.

Lowell Weicker Jr.

Right now there is a lot of talk on liberal blogs about a potential challenge of Joe Lieberman by former Connecticut Governor Lowell Weicker Jr. I haven't agreed with Joementum much over the past several years, but I do have to question the wisdom of taking out a sitting Democrat with a 74 year old man, especially in a state with a popular republican governor.

Just seems like a bad idea to me. Find someone younger.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Tom Delay

Well, it looks like Tom Delay has managed to weasel his way out of the conspiracy charge against him. Unfortunately for him, the trial for the remaining charge won't take place until after the leadership elections for the House GOP, and he still has Abramoff stuff hanging over his head.

Bottom line, today was a small speed bump on Delay's road to ruin.

Frustrating

Blogger has been a bitch today.

Disappointing

Number two is retiring. Of course I'm referring to Tyra Banks who is the second most beautiful woman in the world. Obviously, Salma Hayek is number one and anyone who disagrees with this non-debatable fact is obviously an idiot.

Given the fact that my favorite bar closed on Saturday combined with the fact that I had car trouble this morning and now that number two is retiring, I think it's pretty clear that there is a vast conspiracy out there with the intention of turning my life upside down.

I'd better go home and barricade the door while cautiously peering out the window through the blinds until this storm passes. I'll use this downtime to search the web for a new number two to, umm, how to I put this, satisfy certain needs of mine.

Still, if you have any photos of Miss Banks, send them to my e-mail address.

Friday, December 02, 2005

Closing Time

Our favorite bar will be closing Saturday and we still haven't settled on a new hangout. One thing is for sure, the new hangout will not feature Motoman Robotics' RoboBar.

Frickin' robots, it's always the frickin' robots.

More FEMA Fuckups


Here is a before and after photo of Maria Russell's house which was damaged in Hurricane Katrina. Yesterday, they received a letter from FEMA.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) and the State of Mississippi have reviewed your request for disaster assistance. Listed below is our decision regarding your request. The initial determination will not preclude you from receiving future assistance.

Determination: IID-Ineligible - Insufficient Damage

Total Grant Amount: $0.00.

If only those pillars would have fallen down.

We're Still Letting Them Die: Iraq Version

Ten Marines were killed by an IED today comprised of several large artillery shells outside Falluja.

Okay, your average Iraqi doesn't have large artillery shells lying around the house. These shells were pilfered from one of the many ammunition dumps around Iraq that the Pentagon didn't deem necessary for destruction. Hell, we didn't even guard them. We just let the insurgency stroll in to shop till they dropped these bombs in holes to kill American soldiers.

This is a total clusterfuck that must firmly be laid at the feet of George Bush. If a major conflict erupted right now we would have to go nuclear as we now don't have the troops, and for that matter the munitions to fight it. We need to pull back to Kuwait now to regroup. But we're not going to do that because the war we were told that would last weeks now requires patience. I'd wager about three more years of patience.

Again, why does Donald Rumsfeld still have a job?

We're Still Letting Them Die: Katrina Version

The first death of Katrina survivors from the coming winter has occurred in Ocean Springs, MS over the last weekend. A nineteen year old was found in the yard of a heavily damaged house where he had previously built a bonfire for warmth. On January seventh FEMA will put thousands of people in this same dilemma by ending their hotel vouchers.

We should all feel shame for this.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

John Derbyshire = Creep

John Derbyshire has an strange post about not wanting to see Jennifer Aniston's breasts because she is too old. From The National Review Online:

It is, in fact, a sad truth about human life that beyond our salad days, very few of us are interesting to look at in the buff. Added to that sadness is the very unfair truth that a woman's salad days are shorter than a man's — really, in this precise context, only from about 15 to 20.

Fifteen? Can you say pedophile?

Anyway, don't worry Jen. Bring those puppies over here, I'll take a peek.