Thursday, February 01, 2007

We Have To Attack Iran

Don't you see, you fools? Sure some thought it might take a decade, others thought months, but after yesterday's events in Boston it is perfectly clear that the Iranians already have Lite-Brite™ technology! Who are you going to trust? The eggheads involved in our intelligence agencies or your own lying eyes?

It's not just that they just have the ability to manufacture Lite-Brites™, They've already figured out how to make flashing Lite-Brites™. Fucking flashing Lite-Brites™. Even worse, they've somehow managed to smuggle these into our homeland. Jesus, it might already be too late.

Oh, and don't you believe that shit the liberal media is telling you. Sure, they say this was a guerrilla marketing tactic for a movie. Yea right, a movie I've never heard of based on a cartoon character I've never heard of. Bullshit! Those hipper than thou fucks would like you to believe there are super cool cartoons out there you've never seen. Such liars.
Maybe they are just trying not to panic the nation, then again maybe they are in on it. You know how much the mainstream media loves the terrorists.

That's why we must attack now. Today it might just be an anthropomorphic, Atari looking, motherfucking Lite-Brite™ flipping you the middle of his? three fingers, but tomorrow it could be, like, I dunno, a fucking sailboat Lite-Brite™! A fucking flashing sailboat Lite-Brite™, at that.

And did you see how easy it was to put them on our bridges! These may very well be remote controlled flying flashing Lite-Brites™ we are dealing with. How else would they get up there?

They even have the technology to build an erupting volcano Lite-Brite™. Don't believe me?

I bet you're pissing your pants now, huh? Better now though than when a fucking flashing flying Lite-Brite™ Volcano starts dropping piping hot magma on your head. Then you'd be fucked.
Demand action today, or there shall not be a tomorrow.

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