Number two is retiring. Of course I'm referring to Tyra Banks who is the second most beautiful woman in the world. Obviously, Salma Hayek is number one and anyone who disagrees with this non-debatable fact is obviously an idiot.
Given the fact that my favorite bar closed on Saturday combined with the fact that I had car trouble this morning and now that number two is retiring, I think it's pretty clear that there is a vast conspiracy out there with the intention of turning my life upside down.
I'd better go home and barricade the door while cautiously peering out the window through the blinds until this storm passes. I'll use this downtime to search the web for a new number two to, umm, how to I put this, satisfy certain needs of mine.
Still, if you have any photos of Miss Banks, send them to my e-mail address.