Baby Machines

American women, welcome to second class citizenry. New guidelines from the rightwing zealot led CDC say you should be ready to be with child at every moment from first menstruation to menopause. (Not satire yet). So, stop drinking, smoking, etc. From the Washington Post:

New federal guidelines ask all females capable of conceiving a baby to treat themselves -- and to be treated by the health care system -- as pre-pregnant, regardless of whether they plan to get pregnant anytime soon.

Among other things, this means all women between first menstrual period and menopause should take folic acid supplements, refrain from smoking, maintain a healthy weight and keep chronic conditions such as asthma and diabetes under control.

While most of these recommendations are well known to women who are pregnant or seeking to get pregnant, experts say it's important that women follow this advice throughout their reproductive lives, because about half of pregnancies are unplanned and so much damage can be done to a fetus between conception and the time the pregnancy is confirmed.

The recommendations go on to say women should avoid lead based paint and cat feces, which, let's face it, are probably a good idea for anyone, not just women.

(Start satire)

In addition, the CDC announced that all women over 110lb and / or with a breast cup size below C shall be interned to procreation centers. The centers, called Friendly Uterus Camps: Kids Are Beloved Embryos (FUCKABLE), shall feature starvation diets backed with beatings for motivation. Women lacking certain features will also be subject to implantation surgery for the less than well endowed and / or hymen reconstruction surgery for the less than virtuous.

Graduates will be married off in parceled lots by groups, others discarded. Lots shall be divided by desirability with groups being assigned as follows:

Group A: Affluent White Male Group
Group B: Better Off Than Most Group
Group C: Can Be Taken Off Our Hands Group
Group D: Derbyshire Group (Girls 12-17)

Women who do not receive bids as well as those whose parents cannot meet dowry requirements will be discarded.

The CDC feel that America's new über-women will satisfactorily suit America's breeding necessities well into the 22nd century.

Seriously though, what the fuck is it going to take to get single women in this country to vote?