Snow Teams Back peddle

Well, that major snowstorm we've been hearing about all week never materialized here in Columbus, OH. Last night, around 9:00 I looked out of the window at the bar where I was meeting with friends and thought, that's it?

This morning the local snow coverage looked rather silly as they were driving around central Ohio looking for someplace that actually got a lot of snow. The money quote of the morning goes to WBNS' Chuck Gurney who actually said, "It's not the size of the snow storm you get, it's how fast you get it."

Nice over dramatization Chuck, but actually the converse is true. It's much better to get six inches of snow in one hour than six inches of snow over twelve hours. The former meaning you only have to plow the roads once versus the repeat plowing necessary for the latter.

Run For Your Lives

Alert, Alert. Run for your lives. It's going to snow here in Columbus. Let me explain the three levels of snow emergency. First of all.....Your not still reading this are you? Didn't you hear what I said? Shitloads of snow are coming!!! Snow! Bitches! Snow! It's your life, I warned you.

Level 1: All travel is restricted to driving about five miles per hour. In fact, don't drive. Hell, don't even look out your window. There's white shit out there.

Level 2: No travel, no leaving the house. All meals must be eaten cold out of a can. Watching 24hr Snow Team coverage is mandatory. Use the amphetamines in your snow kit to stay awake. Martial law is declared, habeas corpus suspended.

Are you still fucking reading this? Are you insane? Run!!!! Run away now!!!!

Level 3: All human life ceases to exist. That is all.

Burt Prelutsky

Some people just don't get it. On Townhall.com Burt Prelutsky writes:

But the dirty little secret in America is that anti-Semitism is no longer a problem in society; it’s been replaced by a rampant anti-Christianity. For example, the hatred spewed towards George W. Bush has far less to do with his policies than it does with his religion. The Jews voice no concern when a Bill Clinton or a John Kerry makes a big production out of showing up at black Baptist churches or posing with Rev. Jesse Jackson because they understand that’s just politics. They only object to politicians attending church for religious reasons.

This is the same kind of stupid thing dumb people say about the terrorists. You know, they hate us for our freedoms. It's always about policy. Just because reality shows dominate television doesn't mean we are all children. I don't hate Bush because he is Christian, or because he stole the 2000 election, or even for the fact that he is an idiot. I hate him for his disastrous policies that are destroying the country.

Now, I do accept the fact that anti-Christianity is running high right now, but that is mainly due to the radical Christian right shoving a toxic form of the religion down every ones throat. It's reactionary, its blow back, plain and simple.

Prelutsky, who is Jewish, goes on to blame the Jews for the War On Christmas:

It is the ACLU, which is overwhelmingly Jewish in terms of membership and funding, that is leading the attack against Christianity in America. It is they who have conned far too many people into believing that the phrase “separation of church and state” actually exists somewhere in the Constitution.

You may have noticed, though, that the ACLU is highly selective when it comes to religious intolerance. The same group of self-righteous shysters who, at the drop of a “Merry Christmas” will slap you with an injunction, will fight for the right of an American Indian to ingest peyote and a devout Islamic woman to be veiled on her driver’s license.

I'd have to say that's a little overly dramatic. In the last paragraph Pelutsky salutes his Christian overloads:

This is a Christian nation, my friends. And all of us are fortunate it is one, and that so many Americans have seen fit to live up to the highest precepts of their religion. Speaking as a member of a minority group – and one of the smaller ones at that – I say it behooves those of us who don’t accept Jesus Christ as our savior to show some gratitude to those who do, and to start respecting the values and traditions of the overwhelming majority of our fellow citizens, just as we keep insisting that they respect ours.
Merry Christmas.

Are we going to have to endure this imaginary war every year? Oh well, have a better than average end of year annual events time period.

Engaged?

Barbara Bush's six month foreign good will tour to avoid jury duty has run into the Page Six crowd. Babs was wearing a ring on that finger that generally indicates a wedding is in the future during a visit to the National Children's Hospital in some strange far away place known as DC.

The White House has denied that she is engaged, and her future husband was too busy cooking up a new batch of trailer park meth to comment.

Airline Shooting

Federal Air Marshals just capped a guy claiming to have a bomb aboard a American Airlines flight at the Miami airport.

Those Crazy Aspens

Remember the cryptic letter Scooter Libby sent Judith Miller? The one that ended with this message:

"You went into jail in the summer. It is fall now. You will have stories to cover -- Iraqi elections and suicide bombers, biological threats and the Iranian nuclear program. Out West, where you vacation, the aspens will already be turning. They turn in clusters, because their roots connect them. Come back to work -- and life. Until then, you will remain in my thoughts and prayers. With admiration, Scooter Libby."

The next issue of Vanity Fair will reveal that Judy used to sleep with US Congressman Les Aspin. Aspen, Aspin. Pretty similar, huh. Judy has long had a reputation for sleeping with her sources, so was this quote a reference to her sleeping with Les Aspin and then quoting him as a source? Further more, does the turn in clusters phase constitute a threat to reveal other sources Judy tapped for her stories?

I don't know, but it is certainly interesting.

Fitzy

Old Saint Fitz is in court today with the elves and lots of bags of goodies. No idea who the Silent Knight is looking at today, but hopefully Rove has run out of last minute mystery witnesses to run at Fitzgerald to stave off his indictment.

Idiots And, Well, Idiots

Howard Dean was an idiot for what he said that the idea we could win the Iraq War is "just plain wrong." I agree with him at this point due to the leadership running this country, but as head of the DNC, you just can't make statements like this or even if it was taken out of context, statements close to this. It doesn't play well politically. You've got the base Howard, go get the middle.

That being said, President Bush's statement yesterday is equally idiotic, and somewhat quixotic. Bush said, "I know we're going to win," and "Our troops need to hear not only are they supported, but that we have got a strategy that will win."

What strategy is Bush talking about? I certainly hope he's not talking about that buzz word filled glossy piece of crap from last week that was written in no small part by a White House pollster. Then again, it was shiny so Bush might believe it. I guess we'll just keep on skipping down the IED laden road to stay the courseville.

The strange part is "I know we're going to win." Is Bush harking back to his cheerleader days in college? Exactly what part of this fiasco has led Bush to this conclusion? I don't get it. All I see are continuing American casualties, increasing Iraqi military and police fatalities, and strengthening private militias. None of those things add up to a win.

Today is the anniversary of Japan's sneak attack on Pearl Harbor. Sounds like the perfect time for somebody in the White House to sit Bush down for a sneak attack of reality.

No Jury Duty For Barbara

Nice catch by patprouseyo over at kos. Barbara Bush the younger had the White House lie to get her out of jury duty. From Foxnews.com:

Strother said one of Bush's twin daughters, Barbara, received a jury summons for his court a month ago. Someone called to reschedule her jury service, saying she would be out of the country for the next six months, the judge said.

This simply isn't true, but why bother to lie? Just call it a security threat and move on. No judge would enforce the summons. I've never seen a group of people so challenged by the truth.

Big Box Jesus Leading The War Against Christmas?

This has got to make Bill O'Reilly stew. Several megachurches are canceling their Sunday services in a couple of weeks because Christmas falls on that day. From CNN.com:

This Christmas, no prayers will be said in several megachurches around the country.
Even though the holiday falls this year on a Sunday, when churches normally host thousands for worship, pastors are canceling services, anticipating low attendance on what they call a family day.

[snip]

Cally Parkinson, a spokeswoman for Willow Creek Community Church in South Barrington, Illinois, said church leaders decided that organizing services on a Christmas Sunday would not be the most effective use of staff and volunteer resources.

The last time Christmas fell on a Sunday was 1994, and only a small number of people showed up to pray, she said.

Et tu, BBJ? Ha Ha

Diebold

Rawstory is apparently currently working on an interview with a Diebold insider for all of you conspiracy types out there. The story isn't up yet but some quotes are up. Including that the insider alleges "company plagued by technical woes," and "Raises questions about Georgia gubernatorial election and Ohio November results."

For the record, I don't believe that Diebold flipped the election in Ohio last year.

UPDATE: The story is now up here.

Lowell Weicker Jr.

Right now there is a lot of talk on liberal blogs about a potential challenge of Joe Lieberman by former Connecticut Governor Lowell Weicker Jr. I haven't agreed with Joementum much over the past several years, but I do have to question the wisdom of taking out a sitting Democrat with a 74 year old man, especially in a state with a popular republican governor.

Just seems like a bad idea to me. Find someone younger.

Tom Delay

Well, it looks like Tom Delay has managed to weasel his way out of the conspiracy charge against him. Unfortunately for him, the trial for the remaining charge won't take place until after the leadership elections for the House GOP, and he still has Abramoff stuff hanging over his head.

Bottom line, today was a small speed bump on Delay's road to ruin.

Frustrating

Blogger has been a bitch today.

Disappointing

Number two is retiring. Of course I'm referring to Tyra Banks who is the second most beautiful woman in the world. Obviously, Salma Hayek is number one and anyone who disagrees with this non-debatable fact is obviously an idiot.

Given the fact that my favorite bar closed on Saturday combined with the fact that I had car trouble this morning and now that number two is retiring, I think it's pretty clear that there is a vast conspiracy out there with the intention of turning my life upside down.

I'd better go home and barricade the door while cautiously peering out the window through the blinds until this storm passes. I'll use this downtime to search the web for a new number two to, umm, how to I put this, satisfy certain needs of mine.

Still, if you have any photos of Miss Banks, send them to my e-mail address.

Closing Time

Our favorite bar will be closing Saturday and we still haven't settled on a new hangout. One thing is for sure, the new hangout will not feature Motoman Robotics' RoboBar.

Frickin' robots, it's always the frickin' robots.

More FEMA Fuckups

Here is a before and after photo of Maria Russell's house which was damaged in Hurricane Katrina. Yesterday, they received a letter from FEMA.

The Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) and the State of Mississippi have reviewed your request for disaster assistance. Listed below is our decision regarding your request. The initial determination will not preclude you from receiving future assistance.

Determination: IID-Ineligible - Insufficient Damage

Total Grant Amount: $0.00.

If only those pillars would have fallen down.

We're Still Letting Them Die: Iraq Version

Ten Marines were killed by an IED today comprised of several large artillery shells outside Falluja.

Okay, your average Iraqi doesn't have large artillery shells lying around the house. These shells were pilfered from one of the many ammunition dumps around Iraq that the Pentagon didn't deem necessary for destruction. Hell, we didn't even guard them. We just let the insurgency stroll in to shop till they dropped these bombs in holes to kill American soldiers.

This is a total clusterfuck that must firmly be laid at the feet of George Bush. If a major conflict erupted right now we would have to go nuclear as we now don't have the troops, and for that matter the munitions to fight it. We need to pull back to Kuwait now to regroup. But we're not going to do that because the war we were told that would last weeks now requires patience. I'd wager about three more years of patience.

Again, why does Donald Rumsfeld still have a job?

We're Still Letting Them Die: Katrina Version

The first death of Katrina survivors from the coming winter has occurred in Ocean Springs, MS over the last weekend. A nineteen year old was found in the yard of a heavily damaged house where he had previously built a bonfire for warmth. On January seventh FEMA will put thousands of people in this same dilemma by ending their hotel vouchers.

We should all feel shame for this.

John Derbyshire = Creep

John Derbyshire has an strange post about not wanting to see Jennifer Aniston's breasts because she is too old. From The National Review Online:

It is, in fact, a sad truth about human life that beyond our salad days, very few of us are interesting to look at in the buff. Added to that sadness is the very unfair truth that a woman's salad days are shorter than a man's — really, in this precise context, only from about 15 to 20.

Fifteen? Can you say pedophile?

Anyway, don't worry Jen. Bring those puppies over here, I'll take a peek.