The New York Times

As I flipped through the 5 AM cable news networks this morning I was a bit puzzled. There was a lot of chatter about Judith Miller's column in yesterday's Times. Huh? I read yesterday's Times (Actual ink and paper version, I know, that's so nineties) and there certainly wasn't any Judith Miller column in the paper I read.

The Media Mob over at the New York Observer has the answer. Miller was too late in turning in her first person account to the paper to make the noon Saturday deadline for the Bulldog Edition which is the nationally distributed edition.

The Sunday Times did have this humorous Op-Ed contributed by Geoff Porter about frivolous fatwas. I'm pretty sure someone got pranked here but I'm not sure who. I seriously doubt this fatwa about the rules of soccer was ever issued. It's pretty clear this is a joke. Here is some of the funnier rules from the NYT:

1. Play soccer without four lines because this is a fabrication of the heretics' international rules that stipulate using them and delineating them before playing.

2. International terminology that heretics and polytheists use, like "foul," "penalty," "corner," "goal," "out" and others, should be abandoned and not said. Whoever says them should be punished, reprimanded and ejected from the game. He should be publicly told, "You have imitated the heretics and polytheists and this is forbidden."

4. Do not follow the heretics, the Jews, the Christians and especially evil America regarding the number of players. Do not play with 11 people. Instead, add to this number or decrease it.

6. Do not play in two halves. Rather play in one half or three halves in order to completely differentiate yourselves from the heretics, the polytheists, the corrupted and the disobedient.

9. If neither of you beats the other, or "wins" as it is called, and neither puts the leather between the posts, do not add extra time or penalties until someone wins. No, instead leave the field, because winning with overtime and penalty kicks is the pinnacle of imitating heretics and international rules.

13. You should spit in the face of whoever puts the ball between the posts or uprights and then runs in order to get his friends to follow him and hug him like players in America or France do, and you should punish and reprimand him, for what is the relationship between celebrating, hugging and kissing and the sports that you are practicing?

The others are funny as well. I don't understand why the NYT ran this in the Op-Ed section.