Deepthroat

W. Mark Felt has come forward to say he was Deepthroat. Maybe he will inspire someone in the Bush administration.

California CEO Pay

Kevin Drum has a post about the salaries of the top 100 CEOs' of public companies in California. Those CEOs' took home $1.1 billion in 2004. Yes, that is a big number but the top ten take home 42% of that total ($ 467.5 million). If you remove those 10, you get an average of about $7 million each. I don't think that is that out of line for running a top 100 company in the world's seventh largest economy.

I do have a problem with the way the mega earners are paid though. Most of their compensation comes through stock options. I believe that this can lead to poor corporate governance and can be bad for worker's rights. A CEO can come into a company, slash health care, short the pension fund, push up profits, and do a lot of other thing that push up the stock price in the near term, but may be bad for the company in the long term. Doesn't matter to that CEO, he will have cashed out and moved on before disaster hits.

From the LA Times

Compensation critics say they don't begrudge [Terry] Semel the $230 million he realized by exercising his past options, but they're critical of the board's decision to continue giving him additional stock options year after year.

"Initially, what the board did at Yahoo was really smart. They awarded him a huge grant of options, but some of them were at a premium price," said Paul Hodgson, research analyst with the Corporate Library, a company watchdog group. "Subsequent decisions by the compensation committee have not been as inspired. They keep feeding him stock options, in enormous quantity, and they're all at market prices. They need to find a new tool."

Semel holds rights to buy an additional 22.5 million shares, which were worth about $395 million when Yahoo put out its last statement to shareholders.

[Patrick] McGurn, who advises big pension funds and other institutional investors on how to vote corporate proxies, told his clients to vote against reelecting the members of Yahoo's compensation committee this year.

Semel's "performance was great, but the calibration is so out of whack that whether they intended it or not, even paltry performance would produce a substantial payout," McGurn said. "When the magnitude of the grant is out of line, you have guaranteed a windfall to the executive. The only thing you don't know is whether the windfall will be enormous or astronomical."

I'm not writing this as an indictment of Semel, I don't know that much about the guy. I'm just saying this isn't a good way to compensate a company's CEO.

John Edwards

If you're a John Edwards fan, he will be guest blogging at the newly launched TPMCafe all of this week.

And While The Other Kids Were Busy Accepting Reality, Dick Did Not

OK, Mr. Cheney, its time to go to a rest home. You see, the completely insane shit you said over the weekend proves that it is time. You have a disease called senility. It happens to a lot of our older citizens, but a lot of our older citizens don't happen to run the country. Be sure to eat all of your strained vegetables, take your pills when they tell you to, and don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out.

Seriously, what the fuck is this guy talking about. On Sunday, he said that he was offended by the accusations from Amnesty International of abuse at Gitmo. Really, offended? Umm, it is pretty much documented that it happened. Even one of your biggest shills, Thomas Friedman, had a column in the New York Times last week calling for that internment camp to be shut down. There are memos floating around about the fact that DOD pukes planned on framing the FBI for the abuse. I've yet to figure out how that helps out the level of cooperation between enforcement agencies needed to stop terrorism.

Then, yesterday, you said that we would win the Iraq war before Bush left office. Where exactly do you come up with that assessment? It is certainly not from anyone who actually understands what the fuck is going on there. They all pretty much predict a ten year minimum commitment by US troops to establish stability. You see, when we toppled their government, we opened up a can of worms.

We simply destabilize the country. Without the proper number of troops to provide law and order, a civil war broke out. A very, very complex civil war with religious, tribal, and clan loyalties involved. And remember, the winner will be sitting on trillions of dollars worth of oil. That provides a lot of incentive to win. Conversely, our soldiers are fighting for pennies and just want to get home.

Oh, and on your way to the home, could you take that doddering old fool Rumsfeld with you?

Directly Stolen From Atrios Because It Is So Fucking Funny

The Abraham Lincoln Medallion, very valuable

I Agree With Tom Delay

Poor Tommy is pissing and moaning about the use of his name in the season finale of "Law & Order". In the episode a judge is murders and Kathryn Erbe's character says, "Maybe we should put out an APB for somebody in a Tom DeLay T-shirt." Tom Delay is furious over this calling it a "slur."

Guess what Tom, for once you're right, it is a slur. You are such a piece of shit that your name is used as a slur by mainstream America. Don't blame the show, Tom. Just look in the fucking mirror if you need to place blame.

Wishing Well 12 Million Short

I haven't really commented on Tim Noe yet. I was waiting to see how deep the fraud ran. Pretty deep, 12 million dollars deep. Looks like jail time for Mr. Noe. I want to address a different aspect of this crime, however. Since 1990 Noe has given 154,000 to republican candidates and committees. After all, thieves play with other thieves. I now make a public call for every candidate that received contributions from Noe to repay those donations to the Ohio Bureau of Workers Comp.

Chile Update

For those of you waiting on my opus about the Chile experiment, and I know you're waiting on pins and fucking needles, you're going to have to wait a little longer. Ok, last weekend didn't exactly turn out as planned. It wasn't very condusive to doing research. In fact, it was so uncondusive that on Wednesday I had to go get my ass shot full of antibiotics. Ouch!

Anyway, the burning sensation is gone and I am going to try to finish this up this weekend. I do have some open holiday invitations to various parties that I will attend so I'm not promising anything. One of the invites is to a dog wedding. Yes, actual dogs dressed up to have a wedding with catering and music, the whole deal. I dunno, only white people do shit that dumb, but I might have to go just out of curiosity. If I do, I'll post pictures.

Bad Radio

I just heard this on an urban radio station in a very non-urban part of Ohio.

Good God Damn, that's right, you dropped the bomb on me. Welcome to our funky flashback weekend.

Nough said

Wingnuttery At Its Finest

I am glad we bought a condo in Fort Pierce, otherwise I would have never found the gems that run in the Fort Pierce Tribune. Reading the letters to the editor is such a treat. Hell, I would love to see the letters they reject. Let's take a look a Dave Cannon's letter in today's Trib. You see, Dave has the solution to the perceived Social Security "crisis." It is so simple, I can't believe this simple solution has been overlooked.

Most people think Bushes tax cuts for the wealthy are the blame. Some think that the cap for contributing is too low. All are wrong according to Dave. You see, the real problem is abortion. Abortion, you say, how the fuck does that relate? Dave astutely tells us that if all of those aborted fetus' had been allowed to grow into workers, the Social Security trust fund would be well funded. From Dave's letter to the Fort Pierce Tribune.

Below are a set of facts that will prove that abortion on demand is the reason that our Social Security system is soon to take in less money than it pays out.

1. In 1973, five out of nine Supreme Court justices struck down state laws that protect unborn citizens.

2. In 1991, when those who were aborted would have begun paying payroll taxes into the system along with employer contributions, they were not there.

3. In 1991 and each year thereafter, a new group of people began withdrawing money from the system.

4. Abortion on demand removes 1.2 million and 1.2 million employer contributions from flowing into the system each year. Contributions are drying up and new retirees are being added each year.

5. Stop abortions on demand and this decline in income will be reversed and Social Security will return to solvency.

I was chuckling as I read this thinking this was an excellent piece of satire. After all, in the first paragraph he correctly berated a writer that had appeared on Fox News to state that abortion on demand had led to a drop in the crime rate claiming that the writer couldn't see into the future. Sadly though, it isn't satire. Apparently, Dave doesn't apply those same principles of seeing into the future to his own argument. Dave doesn't need to though, he has supplied five "facts." Certainly, every single one of those 1.2 million aborted fetus' would have survived long enough to become employed, and there is absolutely no chance that any of them would have become a burden on society.

Dave Cannon, simpleton extraordinaire.

The People The Republican Party Dances With

Three crosses were burnt in Durham, NC. last night. What is it with racist hillbilly fuckwit hand cummers that they feel they have to destroy the symbol of the religion they claim to love so much? From the Durham Herald Sun.

Gutknecht noted that on May 9, members of Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kan., picketed outside St. Luke's, among other churches, as part of a protest against the performance of "The Laramie Project" at Durham School of the Arts. The play is about the murder of a gay man, and the Westboro protesters carried anti-gay signs with slogans including "God Hates Fags" and "Thank God for 9/11."

These fuckwits are happy for 9/11? These assholes probably also claim that we hate America. All I can say is Dobson and Osama, birds of a feather.

Fox Desecrates National Anthem

Last night, on American Idol Fox brought back some hack from an earlier episode to sing the National Anthem. I have to admit I didn't see the episode the woman appeared on previously, in fact, this was the only part of the entire season I saw. In fact, I don't even know which hick won. It was on in a bar I went to after a fundraiser.

The woman wasn't Rosanne bad, but she was terrible. The she was on the show is one thing, but why did Fox choose to replay this woman butchering out National Anthem? They had to know she sucked, hell they had it on tape. I understand that it’s a pretty hard song to sing, and a lot of people screw it up. Even still, why would a network that wraps itself in the flag daily, they deliberately put forth a sub par hack to sing the song that honors our great nation? Lets face it they, could have gotten pretty much any talent in the biz.

Who knows, maybe they're just cheap.

Pity, Pity, Sad England

Frowns seem to be all that are flying under the Union Jack. A recent study shows that the amount that Britons are laughing, is at a fifty year low. Could this be due to Ali G backlash? I don't know. From yahoo.com

"The findings of this study show a worrying trend towards glumness. In the 1950s we laughed for an average of 18 minutes daily but this has dropped to just six minutes per day," she said.

Morning misery is rife, with almost half of Britons -- some 45 percent -- admitting they frequently wallowed in gloom until lunchtime.

Hmm, morning misery, I suffer a little bit of that from time to time. It's usually due to a bad hangover. I'm guessing these people are wallowed in gloom until that lunchtime pint. Prozac be damned, lunchtime Boddingtons for all.

Moe And Morons

LaDonna Davis tells her story today of the horrible attack that befell her and her husband while visiting their pet chimp Moe. James Davis could not comment for the story because he has been in a medically induced coma for the last two months. LaDonna wants everyone to know that is was not Moe that attacked them, but two other chimps named Buddy and Ollie. Moe's name must be cleared.

From The Washington Post

For Davis is here to talk about a terrible thing that happened to her, an event so traumatic, so bitterly ironic, she would be forgiven for not wishing to talk about it at all. But she must. As news of the incident rocketed around the world, Davis fears some people may have come to assume that the chimp who mauled her hand and attacked her husband with such a frenzy that he remains in critical condition two months later, struggling for his life, his face forever disfigured -- was Moe.

And she wants them to know this: "I wouldn't change anything about what we did."

Wouldn't change anything? Your husband lost both testicles, his nose, an eye, and most of his fingers in the attack and you wouldn't change anything? I'm pretty sure if he lives, and it is still touch and go right now, there would be a few things he would change. Like, maybe having his fucking balls back or not being horribly disfigured.

Cigarette Blows Out Window, Man Chases It

An Arkansas man jumped out of a moving car in order to retrieve a cigarette that had blown out the window. The car was traveling at roughly 60 mph. Surprisingly, the guy lived. It was probably due to the fact that he was shit-face drunk. If people living in the South want to change their image of being slow witted rubes, perhaps they should stop doing shit like this.

Tony The Tiger: Dead

Thurl Ravenscroft, the voice of Tony the Tiger has died at age 91. I'm really shocked when I hear about these things, who knew this guy was still alive? Anyway, Tony is survived by CinnaMon, Bad Apple, and Toucan Sam.

Compromise

All in all, I'm pretty happy with the deal made by Senate moderates yesterday. The extreme right is typically going ballistic over this, and I've seen some far leftists complain about it too. The key thing to remember is that the vote count looked like it was going to be 50-50 with Cheney casting the winning vote, so I would chalk this up as a win for the Democrats.

I also believe that in the Senate, decorum must rule above all else. Otherwise, you end up with the clusterfuck that is the US House Of Representatives.

UPDATE: Lindsey Graham R-SC claims that only two of the three guaranteed votes will get confirmed. I would guess that Brown gets the no vote.

Christianity: Its About Letting Dogs Fuck Your Kids

What the fuck is wrong with these people? Do you really want these type people getting involved in government? From CNN.com

The former pastor told deputies he had been having sex with children for many years and "also educated the children as to how to perform sexual acts with each other and with animals," Carpenter said.

Carpenter said the pastor unwittingly implicated himself while talking to investigators. He was arrested and charged with two counts of aggravated rape of a child under age 13 and one count of crimes against humanity for alleged sexual acts involving animals, the detective said.

I don't really even know what to say.

Terri Schiavo, Part Deux?

It looks like we have another Terri Schiavo type situation in Florida. A one year old was playing in the back yard in Fort Pierce and was bitten by a coral snake. The individual went inside and collapsed. From the Fort Pierce Tribune.

but he suddenly "just dropped down," Martyka said. Lying under the pool table, his breathing was shallow, he couldn't lift his head, and he was surrounded by vomit and waste.

Anti-venom was flown by jet helicopter from Miami to stop the effects, but he remains on a ventilator. Grim choices may have to be made. So, where's Jeb Bush, where's Bill Frist and Tom Delay. This individual must be a ward of the state so that there is no way he can be taken off of the ventilator. Why haven't the "fed heads" shown up outside the facility to hold a vigil. I guess the answer is that this isn't a young white woman.

BTW, Backdraft is a dalmation. God, what is that vet bill gonna cost?

Sorry, I just couldn't fucking resist.

Doing Some Research

I'm working on a post, but it involves some research so don't expect much new content here until Monday. If you would like to contribute to this, I'm looking for some people that lived in Chile under Pinochet, or people who have extensive knowledge of Kissinger. Please e-mail me at phlipsrants@gmail.com Oh, and Julie, tell Ramji to call me.

BTW, this isn't about the human rights violations that happened under Pinochet.